Spring 1998

Soon after the first time I ‘noticed’ Christine I found out through a few discreet enquiries that she already had a boyfriend and one of longstanding service at that. I also found out that he was 15 years or so older than her. I sensed it would only be a matter of time before the relationship would end, since she was still only 22, as I imagined she would outgrow him sooner or later. I decided to bide my time. In the meantime though I carried on as before – not really looking around and I was happy in that. It was then that I met another addition to the company who caught my eye.

Up until now I have used everyones real names but in this instance I will use the pseudonym that Alan gave to a particular girl – girlfriend 56. I suppose Alan gave her that nickname as I had been meeting all kinds of girls and bringing them home. It had for the most part been on a friendship basis that I was acquainted with these girls but to an outsider looking in I guess it would look a little like I was playing the field. Truth is I get on better with women and found friendship easier to come by with the fairer sex. Back to the explanation though – the real reason I am using the girlfriend 56 pseudonym is that I was, and still am, ashamed of what I did to her. Not because that anything I did was terribly bad beyond the usual men treat women badly generalisation. No the reason is that she was innocent in every sense of the word and did not stand a chance because of my inability to overcome my failings and show her respect.

Girlfriend 56 went to church every week and was a little inexperienced in relationships which relatively speaking was diametrically opposed to myself. I think she was also very attached to me and tried to fit in with the way she thought I might like things to be. This meant that I had, and knew that I had, the upper hand in how the relationship progressed and on occasion I used this to my advantage. As was usual my yardstick of whether she measured up, namely how she was with Jemima, came into play. Miss 56 didn’t pass the test. She was scared of dogs and obviously uncomfortable with Jemima. This was difficult because Jemima being the over friendly, although gentle, creature that she was would try to play with her but get nothing much back. In fact on one occasion when girlfriend 56 didn’t think I was looking or could hear she actually told Jemima quietly to “please go away”. That was all I could take of the situation really and I should have ended the relationship, but I didn’t and couldn’t as I didn’t know how, and did not want to hurt her feelings.

So I carried on seeing Miss 56 but at the same time started getting acquainted with other girls. In fact I did more than that – I reestablished contact with Anne Marie and girl number 3 from when I found myself in the three way debacle when I was with Catherine. I also had a brief fling with a girl I had known from college who had called me up. So there I was for a matter of a few weeks with more female attention than I had ever had. Needless to say the restaurant bill for that month was rather large – £550 plus. Which probably worked out at around £150 per girl in the end. Add in the times that the bill was split or when I didn’t pay you can hazard a guess that I ate out perhaps 12 to 16 times that month. What I enjoyed with that whole experience however is while there was undoubtedly sex involved it was not my driving force. I would hazard a guess though that all girls concerned would not approve and being older and wiser for it I would agree. Such is the measure of youth though and you cannot legislate against it. In any case I would have, and eventually did, drop all of them for the chance to be with Christine.