26th July 2010

I’m sitting on the train late for work. Reason? No clean shirts so I had to wait for the washing machine. In getting ready for work though I had to make a decision – do I leave ‘the box’ behind.

I bought the box last week from Spitalfields Market in London. A hexagonal silver box with chinese style red flowers laid upon it. It was, after months of searching, the box I chose for Jemima’s ashes to reside. And today the decision was this – do I leave the box on my desk at home, or take it with me and leave it in the car in the station car park? Leaving it at home could mean one of the three children taking a liking to the box and emptying the contents wherever they may fancy.

Simple decision then, the car it had to be – in one way it was the perfect decision…Jemima in her rightful place by my side in ‘her’ seat. So many years she sat next to me or lay across the seat with her head on my outstretched gearstick arm or on my lap. I even used to keep a bundle of clothes across the handbrake to make it more comfortable for her. What bliss – the open road with Jemimas head on my lap massaging her head.

So there it was – 10 minutes of casting my mind back to my driving past and then having to leave her. I locked the car door and told her “I’ll be back later ‘mima – don’t worry I always come back”.